Understanding the 8-month sleep challenge : What to expect and how to manage it

What is it about 8-month-olds and sleep? If you're feeling frustrated by sudden night wakings or nap disruptions, join the club! 7 to 9-month-olds are one of the largest groups of babies whose parents reach out to me for sleep support. But why is this age particularly challenging?

Debunking the 8-month sleep myth

Let’s clear up a common misconception: many parents believe that by 8 months, their baby should be sleeping through the night. As an exhausted parent, it's understandable to cling to that hope, one which is given legs by many sleep trainers who tell parents ALL babies can sleep through the night at this age. But the evidence simply doesn't back this fact up. Yes, some babies will sleep through, but studies show that most babies between 6 and 12 months wake 1 to 2 times a night.

Developmental leaps at 8 months old

At this age, babies are going through massive developmental changes - crawling, pulling themselves up, starting to babble like "mama" and "dada." They're exploring new foods, practising cause and effect (think throwing and dropping objects - a favourite pastime!), and perhaps the biggest challenge of all - experiencing separation anxiety.

Understanding separation anxiety in babies

Separation anxiety is a normal, healthy developmental stage. It typically shows up between 6 and 8 months and is a sign that your baby has formed a strong attachment to you, their primary caregiver. When you leave, even for a short period, they feel anxious because they’ve grown so attached to your presence. Think of it as a sign of healthy emotional development, not something to fear.

Object permanence and separation anxiety

You may have heard of ‘object permanence,’ a concept which is widely believed to intertwine with separation anxiety. Object permanence is the understanding that objects continue to exist even when they are out of sight. This concept develops around 8 to 12 months, and until it's fully grasped, your baby might worry you’ve disappeared for good when they can't see you.

As this understanding develops, infants realise that objects still exist even when they cannot be seen, touched, or heard. But, and this is the bit that is frustrating, they might still think it could magically disappear for good - and that object could be you! It can take until about age 2 for children to fully understand that you’ll always return. Some babies develop this understanding sooner; others take a little longer.

How to help your baby through the 8-month sleep hurdle

Practise Short Separations

Start with short separations from your baby, gradually increasing the duration over time. Leave them with another adult for brief periods. This may be too big a first step for some babies, so begin by stepping out of your baby’s sight for a few seconds and gradually increase the time. 

Establish goodbye rituals

A consistent goodbye routine, like a quick kiss and "I'll be back soon," helps your baby feel secure. Avoid sneaking away, as it can increase their anxiety.

Comfort objects

Introduce a transitional object, like a favourite blanket or stuffed animal, that can provide comfort when you're not there. Bonus points if it smells like you!

Peek-a-boo games

Engage in activities like peek-a-boo or lift-the-flap books. These games reinforce the concept of object permanence and help your baby understand that even if something (or someone!) disappears, they will come back.

Maintain calm

I know it's easier said than done, but try to keep your household as calm and stress-free as possible. Although this can be challenging with busy family life, especially with older children charging about!

Crawling, cruising, and other developmental leaps

Around this time, you might notice your baby using nap time and bedtime as practice sessions for new skills—crawling up and down their cot, babbling more and trying to pull themselves up with the inevitable slip and knock on the head - always the head! This is frustrating but totally normal! Give your baby plenty of opportunities during the day to practise these new abilities, so hopefully, they're less inclined to do so at night.

Dropping from 3 naps to 2

Another reason for sleep disturbances? Your baby might be ready to drop that third nap. Most babies transition from three naps to two around this age, but as always, every baby is different. Watch for cues that your baby is ready for longer periods of wakefulness.

This transition can come with challenges! Going down to two naps can lead to a cranky baby by late afternoon, so try offering a short power nap, pushing the second nap later, or opting for an earlier bedtime.

Managing nighttime sleep challenges

If your baby's sleep takes a nosedive during this time, here are a few tips to help:

Be responsive

When your baby wakes up, respond promptly. Building trust and security now will lead to more independent sleep in the future. Your baby will need you less over time, not more, if you’re responsive to their needs now.

Consider co-sleeping

If your baby is especially unsettled at night, co-sleeping might help. It's not a step backward; it's a temporary solution that can provide the comfort and closeness your baby needs to sleep better, and you’ll probably get more sleep too! You are not creating bad sleep habits (spoiler alert - there are no bad sleep habits!)

Use scent for comfort

Incorporating your scent into the sleep environment by placing it on the cot sheet can provide comfort and help your baby feel secure even when you’re not right next to them.

The bottom line: This too shall pass

Remember, this phase won’t last forever. As your baby grows, their sleep will naturally shift and evolve. The key is to stay patient, respond to their needs, and not get too caught up in short-term sleep disruptions. AND don’t compare your baby to others! Every baby is unique, and their sleep journey will be too.

When to reach out for help

That said, if this phase feels more than just a temporary blip - if it’s becoming exhausting, overwhelming, and you’re feeling like you’re losing the plot - I’m here to help. Together, we can create a sleep plan that works for you and your baby. Don't hesitate to reach out - support is just a call away!