Understanding and Managing Fussy Eating in Toddlers: A Guide for Parents
Fussy eating in children is a common and often exasperating phase that many parents encounter. It's important to recognize that this behaviour is typically a normal part of child development, rather than a cause for alarm.
Most children experience a phase called neophobia, usually around 18-20 months, during which they become hesitant about trying new foods and may reject familiar ones. This phase, although challenging, is usually outgrown naturally, especially with appropriate parental responses.
What is Fussy Eating and Is It Harmful?
Fussy eating, characterised by food rejection, pickiness, and reluctance to try new foods, is not inherently harmful. It becomes problematic when parents and caregivers perceive it as a personal rejection or a sign of something more serious. It's essential to differentiate between normal fussy eating and disordered eating, which involves persistent and extreme food aversions.
Children need not eat large quantities to thrive especially after the age of 10/12 months when their growth slows down. Eating habits quite often correlate with growth rates throughout childhood.
If your child is growing as expected, meeting developmental milestones and has plenty of energy then it’s unlikely this fussy eating phase is any cause to be worried. However if you have concerns about your child's well-being, growth, and behaviour then please do contact your doctor.
Factors Influencing Fussy Eating
Certain factors may contribute to a child's tendency to be a picky eater. These factors include a history of reflux in infancy, mild sensory issues, limited exposure to diverse foods, reliance on commercial baby food, and a smaller birth size.
Impact on Parents
Parents invest significant effort in preparing and offering meals to their children. When these efforts are met with rejection or indifference, it can be emotionally challenging. Parents understandably often feel frustrated, upset, and even offended by their child's eating habits, leading to stress and concerns about their child's nutrition and well-being.
So try not to take it personally when your child rejects your culinary labour of love!
Remember, it’s also natural for children not to eat the exact amount you might expect them to. Establishing regular meal times, such as breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, and evening meal, can help manage your own stress and anxiety around how much your child is eating since if your child doesn’t eat a morsel at one meal you know in a few hours time they’ll be offered something else.
Managing Fussy Eating Tips
Stay Calm
This is probably the most important one! Avoid pressuring children to eat more; children without underlying eating disorders will not deliberately starve themselves.
Eat Together
Foster positive eating habits by sharing meals as a family, emphasising social interaction over focusing on getting your child to eat. Talk about your day, talk about other things rather than what you're eating. If the child comments on the food then of course contribute to the conversation, but keep it light and positive.
Offer Small Portions
Avoid overwhelming children with large servings; let them decide how much to eat. If they eat it all up then of course offer them more.
Introduce New Foods Gradually
Offer small portions of new foods alongside familiar ones, without pressure or over-analysis. Always have a ‘safe’ food on their plate - a food you know that they like. Another idea is to have a ‘sharing plate’ with a new food in the middle of the table which anyone can help themselves to.
Persistence is Key
Reintroduce rejected foods in different forms or contexts. So if mash potato was rejected then maybe offer a jacket potato next time. It may take multiple attempts before a child develops a preference. According to research it can take up to 15 exposures for a food to be accepted so don’t give up!
Avoid Praise for Eating
Normalise eating and avoid excessive praise, which can create unhealthy associations with food. Food is just food! Eating is just eating! Nothing special here! If you want to praise, focus on table manners or if they’ve helped lay the table or with the meal preparation.
Eliminate Distractions
Create a focused mealtime environment without electronic devices or toys to teach children the importance of the mealtime ritual. And definitely don’t use technology as a distraction tool to shovel food into their mouth!
Exploring food through play
This may go against the grain for you but allowing your child to interact with different textures and tastes and explore food through their senses can go a long way in fostering your child’s relationship to food. Engage children in discussions about food characteristics. It takes the pressure off actually eating initially and in time they will lick, taste and maybe even eat!
Have a Spit Bowl
Allow children to experiment with food without fear of punishment, fostering a non-judgmental atmosphere. It’s surprising how transformational this can be. Children feel much more relaxed about trying a new food if they know they can just spit it out if they’re not keen.
Involve Children
Engage children in food-related activities like cooking and shopping to build positive attitudes towards meals. Encourage them to help lay the table, clear up afterwards and maybe even serve the food.
Use Divided Plates
Some children really don’t like some foods touching other foods or juices flowing into other food on the plate. Actually some adults don’t either! Presenting different foods on plates with separate compartments is a perfect way of catering to children's preferences and aversions.
Different environment
Create a fun mealtime atmosphere, such as picnics, or going to granny’s house, to make mealtimes enjoyable and less stressful for all! It might be just the answer in breaking the cycle of negativity at mealtimes.
Model Healthy Attitudes
Demonstrate that it's okay not to enjoy every food; children learn from observing adults' responses. Not everyone likes the same food and this is good for children to learn early on. Also show that if we have more food than our appetite dictates then it’s okay not to clear our plate. Encourage children to listen to their own bodies and recognise when they’re full.
Seek Fun After Mealtimes
Plan enjoyable activities after meals to reduce stress for both you and your child. Forget about the mealtime, especially if it wasn't fun for anyone, and go have some fun!
Fussy eating is a common phase in childhood development, and with the right approach, parents can navigate this challenging period successfully.
I hope that by understanding that fussy eating is often a passing phase and implementing these tips, you can create a positive mealtime environment, fostering healthy attitudes towards food for your children.
Stay calm
Keep positive
Be consistent
Seek support
All these things can go a long way in managing the challenges of fussy eating, ensuring a more enjoyable experience for all.
