Signallers vs Self-Soothers and Your Baby’s Sleep
Let's start with a fact. All babies wake in the night.
In fact, it's natural for everyone to stir at the end of a sleep cycle. It’s just as adults we have the ability to sort ourselves out - get a drink, go for a wee, rearrange the duvet. Babies, of course, lack this capability. Moreover, our awakenings aren't solely physical; sometimes, external factors disturb our sleep, or we're preoccupied with thoughts or affected by a bad dream. As adults, we can manage these disruptions and typically return to sleep. The thing is babies find this tricky. However there are some babies who undoubtedly are able at times to settle themselves back to sleep.
Identifying signallers and soothers
In a study conducted by Thomas Anders in 1979, it was observed that babies tend to wake up a similar number of times during the night. However, Anders identified a subgroup of babies who exhibited the ability to settle themselves back to sleep, which he termed "self-soothers". These infants, provided their needs were adequately met, displayed behaviours such as sucking their fingers or a dummy, adjusting their position if necessary, and then returning to sleep. These babies didn't self-soothe in the true sense of the word - this ability is not fully developed until our early twenties - rather they remained in a calm state throughout the process.
On the other hand, Anders classified another group of babies who, upon waking during the night, cried out and required support from their caregiver to fall back asleep, even if their needs had been met. These infants were labelled as "signalers" by Anders. Unlike self-soothers, signalers relied on external assistance to soothe themselves and return to sleep, indicating their need for additional support from their caregivers during nighttime awakenings.
Misunderstanding of self-soothing skill
The term 'self-soother' was never intended to imply that babies possess the ability to self-regulate in the same manner as adults. Unfortunately many sleep trainers twist this fact to their advantage implying that babies need to be taught this skill in order to sleep well.
Rather, it was coined to categorise infants who demonstrate the capacity to self-settle or return to sleep independently during nighttime awakenings. This distinction is crucial as it clarifies that self-soothers are not regulating their emotions or needs in the same manner as adults but rather exhibiting behaviours associated with self-settling.
Debunking the self soothing myth
You may have encountered advice from sleep trainers suggesting that all babies can be taught to self-soothe. However, we know biologically, this notion is implausible since the ability to self-soothe is a developmental skill.
The prefrontal cortex, a vital region of the brain responsible for emotional regulation, decision-making, and impulse control, undergoes a gradual developmental process. It's noteworthy that this area continues to develop throughout childhood, reaching full maturity only in our mid-twenties.
Understanding your baby's sleep behaviour
So if you imagine your baby lying calmly in their cot, and they drift off to sleep, did they really self soothe? Or is it more of a reflection of their initial calm state rather than actively soothing themselves. They were calm to start with, nothing upsetting them, so they just fell asleep.
But if your baby lying in their cot becomes upset then it’s highly unlikely that they will self-soothe as they haven't yet developed the capability to regulate their emotions effectively. This is where you step in to provide the necessary comfort and support to help them settle back to sleep.
Embracing your baby's individuality
The truth of the matter is that most babies don't fit neatly into the categories of either a pure signaler or a self-soother. Instead, they often exhibit a blend of both behaviours. While a baby may demonstrate self-soothing abilities at times, they may still require comfort and support from their caregiver during periods of distress or difficulty. Their needs are variable and fluctuating, influenced by factors like growth spurts, developmental milestones, illness, and changes in their environment.
Is your baby a signaller?
However there will be some babies who predominantly are signallers. The ones looking for support after pretty much every sleep cycle. This could be due to factors such as their temperament, sensitivity, or reactivity. This behaviour is not a reflection of your parenting skills, and you are most definitely not doing anything wrong. Every baby is unique, with their own individual needs and tendencies, and it's perfectly normal for some babies to require more support and reassurance during sleep times.
Or a soother?
And if your friend’s baby seems to be sleeping so much better than yours, they haven’t uncovered the secret to good sleep (but if they have could you pass it onto me please!) but they most likely have a soother. Instead of comparing, focus on understanding your own baby's unique needs and preferences. Every baby is different, and what works for one may not work for another.
Your baby's temperament
Self soother or signaler characteristics are present from birth and cannot be fundamentally changed. Some babies naturally lean towards being signalers, requiring regular support throughout the night and seeking comfort after every sleep cycle. Conversely, others may display self-soothing tendencies, appearing laid back enough to settle back to sleep independently, provided their basic needs are met.
Supporting your child's sleep journey
Even babies categorised as "self-soothers" may encounter situations where they require additional support from their caregivers, particularly during times of illness or significant life changes.
If your child is predominantly a signaler that they cannot be ‘taught’ to change to a self soother as this tendency is often deeply ingrained. When they become overwhelmed with stress or discomfort, they may struggle to calm themselves down and will likely require comfort and support from a caregiver to regulate their emotions.
However it’s not all doom and gloom. It’s a case of accepting your baby’s personality and preferences, as this will not only help you in supporting their sleep but will give you a greater understanding of all of their emotional needs as they grow and develop.
