Why Your Baby Struggles to Settle at Bedtime and How to Overcome It
Bedtime! That eagerly anticipated part of the day when parents envision their little ones drifting into a peaceful slumber. But for some parents, bedtime can morph into a nightly challenge, leaving both baby and parent frustrated. If you find yourself caught in the midst of bedtime battles, take heart – you're not alone.
Sleep Biology
Understanding the inner workings of sleep biology is paramount when addressing bedtime challenges. Two key factors come into play : sleep pressure and the circadian rhythm. Sleep pressure accumulates as your baby remains awake, urging the body to sleep. The circadian rhythm, akin to an internal clock, regulates the optimal time for sleep. Navigating these biological cues will pave the way for a smoother bedtime routine.
Decoding Bedtime Struggles
Nap Dynamics
Poorly timed or too long naps can diminish sleep pressure, leading to bedtime resistance. Basically your baby just isn't tired enough! Ensuring that your baby's daytime sleep aligns with their specific requirements isn’t always easy to judge. Sleep charts will give you a guide as to how much sleep your baby may need within 24 hours but it’s more effective to be guided by their sleep cues. If a nap is too close to bedtime then not enough sleep pressure will build up resulting in your baby resisting going to sleep.
Sleep Debt
Babies who consistently miss out on adequate daytime sleep gradually accumulate sleep debt. This mounting sleep debt can manifest as fussiness at bedtime, creating a challenging settling experience. Again look at sleep charts to gauge how much sleep your baby should be having over a 24 hour period and most importantly look out for your baby’s individual tired signs.
The Role of Routine Consistency
Imagine a roadmap guiding your baby from the world of wakefulness to the realm of slumber. An inconsistent routine can be akin to a confusing map, leaving your little one uncertain about when sleep is expected. By establishing a predictable bedtime routine that involves soothing activities like a warm bath, stories, and lullabies, you provide the cues that signal the transition from wakefulness to sleep.
Timing is Key
Maybe your baby just isn’t ready to go to sleep when you’ve decided it’s their bedtime. The 7pm bedtime, which is branded about, is not the gold standard for a bedtime. Maybe your baby’s current natural bedtime is 9pm? Notice I wrote the word ‘current’. As we know nothing is forever, so don't worry that a late bedtime now will be permanent. It won’t be. Keep a record of what time your baby eventually falls asleep. So if it’s 9pm then start their bedtime routine at around 8pm.
Separation Anxiety and Connection
At around 8 months, separation anxiety can peak, leading your baby to crave additional attention, especially at bedtime. If you and your baby have been separated during the day, their desire for connection intensifies. Acknowledge this need and make time for as much closeness as possible.
Digestive Comfort and Reflux
Discomfort can be a formidable foe when it comes to settling. Ensuring your baby is properly burped and avoiding immediately laying them down after feeding, especially in the case of reflux, can alleviate physical discomfort that may contribute to bedtime struggles
Ways to work towards a smoother bedtime
Appropriate Naps
Fine-tune daytime naps - number, length and timing - to match your baby's requirements. Be guided by sleep charts as the number of hours sleep over 24 hours but don’t follow a downloadable nap schedule. Formulate your baby’s own awake intervals by following their tired cues.
Tuning into Tired Cues
Your baby's tired cues provide valuable insights into their sleep. Identifying these cues and aligning bedtime within their circadian cycle bedtime enhances the likelihood of a smoother transition to sleep.
Calm time
Before starting the bedtime routine have a n hour or so of calm time. Dim the lights (this triggers the production of melatonin - the hormone which makes humans sleepy), have quiet toys out and use low voices.
Consistent Routine
Having a calming bedtime routine not only signals the transition to sleep but also fosters positive sleep cues. An example is bath, PJs, milk, clean teeth (if have any!), sleeping bag, stories, few lullabies, cot. The key is to establish a bedtime routine and then stick to the order!
Environmental
Ensure the bedroom is around 16°C to 18°C. Black out blinds will help to keep the room dark and if you think your baby is disturbed by external noise then try some white noise.
Comfort Techniques
If feeding or rocking your baby to sleep works harmoniously and doesn't pose concerns, there's no need to disrupt these practices. Don’t listen to those who tell you you’Re making a rod for your back. If you’re happy doing this and so is your baby, then carry on!
Natural Light
Nature's clock plays a crucial role in regulating sleep. By getting your baby outdoors, especially within the first hours of waking in the morning, you help re-align their circadian cycle. Exposure to natural light not only aids in adjusting sleep-wake patterns but also promotes overall well-being.
Navigating the challenges of bedtime with a restless baby can feel like a demanding episode in your parenting journey. It's important to remember that this phase is temporary and not a permanent state of affairs. The key lies in consistency – adhere to a well-structured bedtime routine and have a napping schedule based on your baby’s tired signs.
Tuning into your baby's unique cues and needs is a powerful skill that no book or guide can ever replace. Each baby is an individual, and by observing and responding to their signals, you'll gradually decipher the most effective strategies to ease their transition into sleep.
The bedtime struggles you're facing now are part of the ever-evolving landscape of parenthood. While the road may seem challenging, your dedication to creating a positive sleep environment, nurturing healthy sleep habits, and providing the reassurance your baby seeks will undoubtedly lead to more peaceful nights for both of you. As you continue to adapt and fine-tune your approach, you're not just fostering better sleep – you're nurturing a stronger bond and a more resilient foundation for your growing family.
