Thinking About Night Weaning Your Toddler? Here’s What to Know First
If you’ve reached that point in the night - again - where your toddler is latched on for the fourth or fifth time and you’re lying there thinking, I just can’t keep doing this, but then feel a wave of guilt at the thought of taking away their comfort… please know this: it’s okay to feel done.
No, your toddler probably won’t be thrilled at the idea - but this is your body. And you’re allowed to have boundaries.
Needing rest, space, or change doesn’t make you any less loving - it just means something might need to shift.
And the good news?
There are gentle, responsive ways to do that without abandoning the connection that matters most.
Night feeding and co-sleeping can work beautifully for some families for months or even years. But when it starts to feel relentless, when your sleep is broken and you’re running on fumes, it’s okay to make a change.
In this blog, I’ll walk you through what gentle night weaning can look like, how to know if your toddler is ready (or if you are), and how to make the shift without guilt, sleep training, or distress.
Still dealing with frequent wake-ups?
You might also like this post on why toddlers keep waking at night and how to help them sleep better.
Do Toddlers Really Need Milk Overnight?
It depends. Some toddlers still wake for milk out of habit, comfort, or connection even if they’re getting enough nutrition in the day.
If your toddler is under 18 months, occasional night feeds might still feel completely natural. But from around 18 months onwards, most toddlers are physically able to go all night without needing milk as long as they’re eating well during the day.
And while there’s no “right” age, the general consensus is that it’s often easier to night wean around 18 months or later, simply because toddlers have more understanding and comprehension. You can explain what’s happening, offer simple phrases like “milk is sleeping,” and give them other ways to feel comforted.
That doesn’t mean you have to stop. It just means you can if it’s no longer working for you.
Signs It Might Be Time to Make a Change
Night weaning doesn’t need a set age but it does need the right moment. Here are some signs that you might be ready:
You’re feeling touched out, especially overnight
You’re waking up feeling resentful or exhausted
Your toddler is feeding frequently overnight, but it’s not settling them for long
You want more space in your bed or to start the shift toward independent sleep
You know something needs to change, but you want to do it gently
If any of these resonate, that’s your sign. You don’t need permission. If your setup no longer feels sustainable, it’s okay to move towards something that does.
What Night Weaning Can Look Like (Without Sleep Training)
There’s no single right way to night wean. But if you want to reduce or stop night feeds while still being responsive and close, here are some options:
1. Shift your feeding routine
Make sure your toddler has regular meals and snacks throughout the day, so they have plenty of chances to fill up. If you’re unsure they’ve eaten enough, offering a simple bedtime snack can help. Toddlers often feed more overnight if they’ve been too distracted (or too busy playing!) to eat well during the day.
2. Split the night feeds
If you’re co-sleeping, it can help to gently reduce the frequency or duration of feeds. For example
Shorten feeds slowly over several nights
Space them out gradually (e.g. no feeds before midnight, then 2 a.m., then morning)
Introduce a key phrase like “milk is sleeping now” with lots of comfort
3. Bring in alternative comfort
Night feeds are rarely just about milk - they’re about connection. Try:
Replacing feeds with cuddles, back rubs, or holding hand
Using a comfort item that smells like you
Lying close and offering verbal reassurance if they stir
This can feel tough at first. But with consistency, many toddlers adjust faster than you’d expect especially if they still feel safe and supported.
What to Expect Emotionally (For You and Your Toddler)
Night weaning is more than just a feeding change it’s a transition in your relationship.
Your toddler might cry. That’s okay. They’re allowed to express their feelings about the change, and you’re allowed to stay close and support them through it.
You don’t have to leave them to cry or force anything. You just need to be calm and consistent.
You might feel sad, conflicted, or even guilty. That’s normal too.
Letting go of something that’s been such a big part of your parenting can bring up big feelings. Give yourself time to process those emotions as well.
What If You’re Co-Sleeping?
You absolutely can night wean and continue to co-sleep, if that’s what feels right. You don’t have to change everything at once.
Sometimes simply changing how you respond during the night can make a huge difference like choosing to cuddle instead of feed, or putting a bit of space between you at bedtime.
If co-sleeping is helping you all get more rest, keep it. If it’s part of what’s draining you, it might be time to gently shift things.
How Long Does Night Weaning Take?
There’s no magic timeline. For some toddlers, it takes a few nights. For others, it’s a slower process over several weeks. The key is to move at a pace that feels manageable for both of you.
Start where you are. Go gently. And remember: tears don’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
Change is hard for little people, but with your calm, steady presence, they’ll get there.
You Don’t Need to Go It Alone
If bedtime battles, frequent wake-ups, or emotional night feeds are becoming too much, you don’t have to figure it all out on your own.
Toddler Sleep Circle is my gentle group coaching programme for parents of toddlers aged 18 months to 4 years.
You’ll get:
Expert guidance on night weaning, sleep struggles, and boundary setting
Practical strategies that actually feel do-able
Support from a small group of like-minded parents
A space where you feel seen, heard, and supported without pressure, guilt or sleep training
Doors close Monday 7th April. So now is the time to hop in!
Let’s make nights calmer, together.
Click here to find out more about Toddler Sleep Circle.
