Flushing Away Ten Of The Most Common Potty Training Mistakes

Potty training - two words to strike fear into the hearts of most parents! But it really doesn’t need to be like that. I completely understand how confusing it can be navigating this developmental stage. There’s a wealth of information out there and it’s tricky to work out the best route for your toddler and you. 

No need to fear, I have you covered! Armed with my Seven Simple Steps To Potty Training guide you will feel confident starting the potty training journey and the best bit is it’s free for you to download!

In this blog we’ll have a look at the most common mistakes parents make during potty training. And in all honesty I made quite a number with my first child! 

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1. Starting too early

This is probably the most common mistake. The top tip here is to be guided by stage, not age. Don’t feel pressured to start after hearing other parents boast about their cherubs’ early and quick potty training! Just because your friend’s toddler was dry day and night by their second birthday does not mean your little one will too. Look out for signs that your toddler is ready, like they know when their nappy is wet or dirty or they may even tell you when they are doing a pee or a poo. Be confident to trust your instincts and be guided by your own child’s readiness.

2. Preparation

This covers both your toddler and yourself. Not only do you need to psych yourself up but you also need to prepare your toddler, rather than surprise them one day, clutching a potty and waving a handful of pants! Involve them in choosing pants on your next shopping trip and also buy two or three potties. When home, allow your toddler to investigate the potty. They’ll probably be curious about sitting on it. Let them do so even with their clothes on. Talk about pee/poo coming out of our bodies and encourage them to accompany you to the toilet. However my children never needed an invitation for this! 

3. Getting cross

Inevitably there will be accidents. Don’t make a drama out of it. Doing so can actually make your child fear the potty resulting in even more accidents. You want your child to understand that going to the toilet is normal and the odd mishap is nothing to be ashamed about. So keep your voice calm, not showing any frustration in your body language, and clean up the mess. You can enlist the help of your toddler too if they’re willing. Then just carry on with whatever you were doing beforehand. 

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4. Starting during changes in life

New baby? Moving house? Holiday on the horizon? Not good times to embark on potty training! Wait until life is back on an even keel. Not only does this signal to your toddler that toileting is a normal part of life but also you’ll have more enthusiasm and energy along with time to focus on the task in hand. 

5. Setting a deadline

If you do so, you’re probably setting up your toddler and yourself for failure. Choose a potty training plan which suits your toddler and is flexible to your family lifestyle. Like most things to do with raising children there isn’t a one size fits all approach. Of course there will be some children who will learn to potty train within a few days but for the majority it is a longer process. 

6. Challenging clothes

As in clothes which are a faff to get out of to go on the potty. In the early days I’d suggest only pants below the waist when you’re at home. In an ideal world stay home for the first three days but of course for a lot of families this is unlikely to be possible. So when your toddler is out and about, slip on a pair of easy to pull down elasticated trousers/leggings. 

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7 Dismissing your child's fears

Some children can take a dislike to the potty. It could be they don’t like the feel of it when they sit down or it could be they are afraid to pee or poo without having a nappy on. This is more common than you may have thought. Acknowledge your child’s anxiety and analyse what the cause may be. It could be as simple as letting your toddler choose another potty. Or distracting them with a small box of toys or a book whilst on the potty. Or checking they’re not constipated. 

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8. Repeatedly asking your toddler if they need the potty

On two levels this is not helpful. Firstly your toddler needs to recognise the urge to pee or poo. By going too often they’ll take longer to learn what it feels like. Also be aware that unlike adult’s bladders which send out a call for action signal when it’s half full, children’s bladders are nearly full when this alarm goes off, hence the frequency of accidents and the last minute dash to the loo!

Secondly, as we all know, toddlers do like the word ‘no’ so you’ll probably get that as a reply, especially if they’re engrossed in their play!

Instead keep an eagle eye out for the signs your child makes when they need to pee or poo. It could be the ‘wee jiggle’, holding themselves down below, crossing their legs. You’ll soon learn the sign in your own child. Once you spot it, tell your child, “Toilet/potty time” and take them straight away to the potty or toilet. The key is to make it a statement, not a question, and confidently step into action!

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9. Switching between pants and nappies during the day

Of course your toddler will still be wearing nappies at bedtime but during the day it’s best to keep to pants. Nappies do too good a job at keeping children dry which is not helpful during potty training. The sensation of wetness teaches your toddler they need the potty. Of course there will be accidents which result in unpleasant mess! But if you stick with the pants the whole process should be shorter.  

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10. Night time toilet training at same time

Establish solid daytime toileting before even considering the night time. In order to be dry during the night there needs to be a hormonal development enabling the bladder to hold urine until the morning. The antidiuretic hormone will only wake your child up if they need to pee once the brain has matured to a certain level. This varies from child to child. Night time dryness can occur at any age between 18 months and 7 years. Beyond this age then there may be cause for concern so contact your GP. 

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You might find the first day or so goes well but then the novelty may wear off for your toddler, resulting in more accidents. This is completely normal. Don’t worry. Just stay strong, keeping to the routine. 

Be consistent! (I know, I’m always saying this, but I don’t think us parents can be reminded too often!) Not just you being consistent but everyone else in your child’s world. Let them know the approach you’re taking, the language you’re using along with telling rather than asking your toddler if they need the potty. 

Remember there isn’t one perfect way to potty train as there isn’t one single way children learn. This is one of those times when it’s important to stay in your own parenting lane!