How do I know when my baby is tired?
Embarking on the journey of motherhood comes with its unique set of challenges, and for me, one of the biggest was knowing when my baby was tired. Classic cues like yawning, eye rubbing, and a touch of grizzliness seemed like foolproof indicators, prompting immediate attempts to settle her for sleep. However, the inconsistency left me bewildered, unable to grasp why my efforts sometimes worked and sometimes didn't. In time I discovered there are varied ways in which babies communicate their fatigue, with some giving no clear clues at all! AND these so called tired signs may not actually be tired signs at all! If you're feeling confused, rest assured; you’re not the only one! Do bare with me, for some clarity!
Variability of Baby Tired Signs
Tired cues are highly variable from baby to baby and will also change as they grow. As you get to know your baby hopefully you’ll pick up their signs of tiredness.
Just look at this list!
And that of course is an non-exhaustive list!
So the message is to get to know YOUR baby, and their unique communication.
Beyond the yawn
Yawning for example is not necessarily a tired sign. It might be a sign of boredom, it might be a sign of overwhelm, iit might be a sign of stress. One of the ways we release stress is through yawning. I’m not saying if your little one yawns they are dealing with some psychological trauma! By stress I mean general grouchiness!
You may be finding it confusing figuring out when your baby is tired versus when they're showing other behaviours. Do you always try to put your baby to sleep whenever you see any sign of tiredness? It's a common and natural reaction, but it can make you respond the same way to any dysregulated behaviour your baby shows.
Avoiding the Tiredness Trap
Little ones can get cranky for a whole number of reasons. If you put down every upset behaviour as a sign of tiredness, you might miss what your little one really needs at that moment. You could be trying to put them to sleep when they're not actually tired. The outcome? Everyone ends up feeling frustrated and unhappy!
Think about how your little one reacts to different feelings and situations, like boredom, discomfort, loneliness, or frustration. Stay curious about what your baby's behaviours might be trying to tell you
Lowering Your Stress through Recognizing Tired Cues
Studies indicate that being in tune with your baby's behaviour and recognizing their tired cues can lower your stress levels and lessen your preoccupation with their sleep.
Tracking Sleep Patterns and Behaviours
If you're struggling to tell when your baby is tired versus other signs, give this a shot. Keep a sleep log or diary to track their sleep patterns and behaviours. Over time, this should help you understand and recognize their unique tired signs better.
By tuning into your baby's tired signs, you'll develop a deeper understanding of your baby and their sleep needs. This process will also boost your confidence in how you handle their sleep
Sleep Training Realities: Shifting from Overtiredness to Dysregulated
The realm of sleep training is often abuzz with talk about overtiredness and the critical importance of catching that elusive perfect moment for your baby to fall asleep peacefully. The idea is that if you miss this golden opportunity, your baby might go from a state of blissful alertness to the depths of exhausted misery in the blink of an eye. The phrase "sleep begets sleep" is a common mantra in this context, suggesting a direct link between the amount of sleep a baby gets and their ability to sleep more.
However, it's essential to acknowledge the practical constraints of a 24-hour day. There's a limit to the amount of sleep anyone, including babies, can have within this timeframe. Instead of fixating on the term ‘overtiredness’, the concept of being ‘dysregulated’ might offer a more nuanced understanding. In simple terms, just as adults feel cranky, moody, and out of sorts when deprived of sufficient sleep, babies exhibit similar reactions.
Missed your baby’s tired signs?
The reassuring aspect is that even if you happen to miss the signs indicating your baby is tired, it doesn't signify a disaster. True, it might take a little while to calm them down before they fall asleep, but the key takeaway is that no long-term damage is done. Shift the emphasis fom the pressure of catching the perfect moment for your baby to sleep to a more realistic view of how much sleep they actually need in one day. One poorly timed nap won't necessarily ruin your day, and it most certainly won't ruin your baby!
Trusting your instincts and remaining in tune with your baby's unique language, even if it doesn't always match the classic textbook signs of tiredness, is crucial. Stay curious about your baby's behaviours, seek the meanings behind them, and through this, you will develop a profound connection that goes beyond mere sleep. The journey of understanding your baby is a continuous process, extending throughout childhood and beyond!
